I Love the Hell Outta You
by Morien Alexander
Summary: Short stories about Sasuke and Naruto. Most include SasuNaru pairing. Rated for possible future stories. Warning: occasional angst and gratuitous Sai
1. I Love the Hell Outta You

**These are a series of short "stories" ranging from a few hundred words to a few pages. **

**All of these stories will involve Sasuke and Naruto and most of them (but not all) will have the Sasuke/Naruto paring in some sort of fashion. When I say that, don't take it that Naruto's always the "bottom" because that would just be silly. Most of the stories will be funny, but some will be dramatic or full of angst or just plain drabble.**

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**I Love the Hell Outta You [Title Story**

**Rating: **PG-13

**Pairings: **Sasuke/Naruto

_In which Sasuke wants more attention than he's getting._

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Sasuke kicked the table. 

"Stop that." Naruto kicked Sasuke's leg.

Sasuke kicked the table again.

"Stop that!" Naruto grabbed the table and held it steady.

Sasuke smirked. And then kicked the table.

"You bastard!" snarled Naruto, who was as able to control his temper at age twenty-six as he was at age ten. "Stop that or you'll spill the damn ramen! It's on my salary, too, jackass!"

Sasuke shrugged, smirked, and made to kick the table again, but Naruto thrust his leg out and blocked the attack.

"What are you trying to do? Piss me off?! 'cause it's working!"

"Idiot." Sasuke stood up, and leaned across the table, spilling hot ramen across Naruto's lap. He grabbed the other ninja's shirt and yanked him up, spilling yet more ramen and gathering an earful of loud curses. Then he jerked Naruto close, smirked winningly, and kissed him full on the mouth.

Naruto remained frozen in place even when Sasuke let him go.

A cough sounded in the crowded but silent restaurant.

Hyuuga Hinata raised her hand and squeaked, "Check, please."

This seemed to bring Naruto to his senses. He flushed bright red and landed a punch square on Sasuke's jaw which sent the dark haired man sprawling on the floor. "I love the hell outta you, Sasuke, but _no one_ spills my ramen!"

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	2. Your Tears

Because we all know that Naruto just can't stop thinking about Sasuke.

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**Your Tears**

**Rating: **PG

**Pairing:** None (?)

_In which Lee is strangely serious._

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Naruto pressed his stomach into the ship's railing, enjoying the solid vibration of the engine against his skin. The sun was warm on his face and, though he had enjoyed actually fighting on Crescent Moon Island, he was glad to be going back. Being in Konoha meant more training. This had been too easy; he wanted—needed—to level his skills up.

He didn't turn at the sound of footsteps on the deck behind him, nor did he look way from the ocean when someone settled next to him. Though he wasn't always terribly observant, even an idiot could tell it was Lee leaning against the railing alongside him, smiling into the sunlight. The black haired, thick eyebrowed ninja made a happy sound before speaking. "That was fun," he said.

"Yeah!" Naruto agreed with a nod and grinned more cheerfully than he felt.

Lee started to speak and then paused, seeming to think hard for a few minutes. Then he said, "It will be okay."

"What?" Naruto glanced sideways at him and saw that Lee was, remarkably, blushing.

"Uchiha Sasuke. He'll come back. He just… I know it's hard, Naruto. But sometimes you have to do things for yourself." Lee's hands tightened around the iron of the railing.

"What are you talking about?" Naruto asked, his own face bright red. "It's not—I'm not even thinking about him." Of course it was a lie.

"I know you. I'm not as smart as Shikamaru, but I can tell what you're thinking about. You're a nice guy, but you wouldn't cry over a scared child who doesn't know any better." Lee's eyes narrowed as if he were trying to see something in the distance, but only water stretched out in front of them. "All those things you said—about not abandoning someone important, about friends—it was about Uchiha, wasn't it?"

Naruto didn't reply, but he felt his stomach sinking with the weight of loss.

"That promise that you had with Hikaru-kun was important. But the promises you made with Uchiha, those are what you were thinking of, right? That passion in your voice was for Uchiha… right?"

Naruto thought maybe some of the seawater had gotten into his eyes, because he suddenly found himself unable to see.

"He threw away something precious. Some_one_ precious. And you think about it all the time, don't you?" Lee's voice was quiet, sad. He leaned against the shorter ninja, his shoulder pressing against Naruto's. "He is still precious to you, no matter what he did."

Naruto wanted to kick Sasuke's ass. But he also wanted him back so badly that it ate at him whenever he wasn't fighting. The salt spray from the front was getting thick, he thought, because he could feel it on his cheeks now.

"Even when you smile, it's a little sad. It's because you're thinking of him, right?" Lee turned to Naruto for confirmation.

Naruto rubbed his face on his sleeve and gave a short bark of laughter. "That's stupid. Of course not," he lied.

Lee put his hand on Naruto's shoulder. "I once thought you and he were like Neji and I. I was wrong." He ducked his head and smiled ruefully. "There's something different about you. Something different about him." He squeezed Naruto just a tiny bit. "He will come back. I will help you bring him back. Neji and TenTen and Gai-sensei and everyone, even No-Eyebrows the Sand kid will help you. Because that's what will make you happy. We all want you to be happy."

Naruto turned and his face was twisted in a mix of mockery, laughter, and incomparable sadness. "That would be kind of freaky, wouldn't it?"

"What?"

"My happiness-- dependant on that bastard. That stupid, stuck-up bastard." Naruto rubbed at his eyes again. "I'm not a freak." Then he paused for a minute, his face smoothing into serious consideration. "Well, maybe just a little bit of a freak."

Lee laughed.

Naruto laughed, too.

Sakura looked over from where she was reading a book on medical ninjutsu and smiled.

And Kakashi stopped eavesdropping because he thought he saw the flash of a dolphin under the water.

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End file.
